GrimTales 3: House Call for Death
by DracoWolf316
Summary: When House is put in charge of diagnosing a girlwho doesn't have a heartbeat, he starts to get into a big mess, and wonders if there really is life after death. Note: Funny Epilogue at the end. Check it out!


**A/N: ** Here I am with another installment of my "Grim Tales" fanfic series. This one is the third in the fanfic series, just in case you didn't catch it. There's more to come after this one, so read on, and wait hysterically for the next.

* * *

House walked through the doors of Princeton Plainsboro Hospital. He attempted to walk passed the clinic without Cuddy seeing him, but he had his good days and bad days. This was one of his bad ones.

"House." He heard her shout.

"Crap." He swore as he turned to see her walk toward him.

"House, why are you late?"

"What are you talking about? It's morning."

"It's half passed eleven." She said crossly.

"It's still morning. It's not night until after twelve." Cuddy rubbed her forehead.

"Just get to work. You have Clinic duty for three hours." House gaped at her.

"What happened to having two?"

"You were late; don't think you walk away without punishment." She handed him the files on the clinic patients. House sighed. He began to walk towards the elevator. Suddenly, the front doors were kicked open. A kid came running inside, holding a girl in his arms.

"Someone please help! My sister's sick!" Nurses on staff rushed to them, one of them taking the girl and another getting a wheel chair for her. House looked at them, and walked over.

"What happened?" He asked the boy.

"I don't know, we were just…walking and then she collapsed and started to spasm a lot." House looked over at the girl. She was wearing a dark grey leotard with a black shawl over it. Over that was a dark gray collar with a skull pendant holding it in place. She had on a pair of thick red pantyhose with maryjanes on, the laces going up her legs. Her short blonde hair was held in place by a black headband. She was unconscious. House turned his attention to the kid. He was wearing a dark grey sweatshirt, with the hood up on his head. He had a pair of gray pants on, and a pair of sneakers with black swirls. He had a pair of fingerless leather gloves on. His hair was spiky and brown, and his eyes were dull blue.

"Was she at a gym class?" House asked.

"No."

"She's probably dehydrated, wearing that dark color outfit on a hot day."

"No, we drank and ate before walking." The kid said. House cocked his head as he looked up.

"Interesting."

* * *

House walked into the meeting room where Taub, 13 and Cutner were sitting. He threw three files to them.

"We have a case today kiddies!" He said, going to the board. The three opened their folders.

"We have a little girl who fell unconscious while walking with her brother. She began to have spasms as it happened. Go."

"Dehydration. It would explain the unconsciousness." Cutner said.

"Except that it wouldn't cause spasms, and the brother said they already had fluids and eaten before walking."

"Maybe an allergic reaction to something? It would explain the spasms, and to much strenuous activity would make the patient unconscious." 13 said.

"Possible. Taub, ask the brother what they had before going, and where they walked. 13, you and Cutner examine the patient, see if there's any abnormalities on the skin or in the mouth." They all got up.

"What about you?" 13 asked.

"I have clinic duty. So if you'll excuse me." He walked out the door. They looked at each other in confusion.

"Since when has he ever willingly gone to clinic duty without complaining?" Cutner asked.

* * *

House sat in a chair in exam room 1, playing pacman on his PSP. A woman was waiting patiently on the exam table, a bandage on her arm.

"How much longer?" She asked.

"About another minute or two; depends on how much father I can go on this." House answered. He steered Pacman into a section. Clyde and Pinky cornered him.

"Damn." House said. He pocketed the PSP and got up.

"Okay, let's take a look at that wound." The woman reached up and removed the bandage. There was a large area of bruising, but it was in three separate forms.

"I'm not sure exactly where it came from, but--"

"You have a husband?" House suddenly asked.

"Um, well yes but how do-"

"Does he drink a lot? I'm looking for a drinking buddy." The woman looked at him oddly.

"What? No, he would never-" House suddenly put his fist against the bruising. It almost matched the pattern.

"I'm guessing he's abusive. You don't need a doctor, you need a lawyer." She just sighed. House got up and out of the room.

* * *

"So you didn't eat anything you didn't before?" Taub asked the kid.

"No, just the usual for lunch during the week. My mom usually just gets us burgers when she and my dad go out."

"Do your parents have any allergies we should know about?"

"No, neither of them are allergic to anything." Taub thought for a moment.

"What do your parents do?"

"My mom doesn't work. My dad usually goes in and out for his line of work, but I can't tell you what it is."

"Why, do you not know?"

"Oh I know, and so does everyone else in my family. But we're not supposed to say." Taub just looked at him. The kid just stared back.

"Okay." Taub said, writing it down.

* * *

13 was looking at the girl's skin in a private room. She was still unconscious, though she was now in a hospital gown. There were no abnormalities on it. She opened her mouth and looked in it with a light. Nothing. 13 sighed, and went to do the regular routine checkup. She checked each eye. They were responsive. She then put her fingers on the girl's wrist. That's when things started to get weird. She felt up and down the girl's wrist every few seconds. There was no pulse. She took out her stethoscope and put it against the girl's chest. She was breathing, but there was another problem that was impossible.

"Oh my god." She said in shock."

* * *

"Her lungs, eyes, and almost every other organ are working properly, but her heart wasn't even beating." 13 said to House. House looked up at her with an unbelieving look.

"Come on now 13, if her heart isn't beating, how would her other vitals still be working? You must have been using the stethoscope wrong. It's the round disc that goes on the patient by the way." 13 rolled her eyes impatiently.

"I bet you 1000 bucks that her heart isn't beating." House looked up at her.

"That much to be proven wrong? There MUST be something wrong with the patient to bet that much." He rose from his desk.

"I'll take it. Let's see the "undead" girl."

* * *

They entered the room. The boy was there again, looking at his sister expectantly.

"Pardon us, we're coming through." House said to him. He said nothing. House went up to the patient. He took a stethoscope out and put it on the patient. His smile turned into a frown. He placed it on other areas of the girl's body. He looked at 13 who just gave him an, 'I told you so' look.

"We need to tell the others." He said.

"Don't forget about my 1000 dollars." 13 said with a smirk outside the room.

"What 1000 dollars? We didn't shake on anything." 13 looked at him unbelievably. Taub came up to them.

"Well, I talked to the girl's brother. Apparently they ate burgers for lunch, which they eat everyday for lunch. He also said that he can't say what his father's job is."

"Like…He doesn't know what it is?"

"No, just that he can't say." House raised an eyebrow.

"Even more interesting."

* * *

"Okay, we either have a new disease that stops the heart and keeps the patient alive, or the first zombie to ever live has appeared in our hospital. Suggestions?" Cutner raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"Cut the head off and bury it." He said with a smile.

"Something that can be done legally sicko." House said rolling his eyes.

"We should get a new heart for her." Taub said.

"She's not in critical condition; it makes her less of a priority for transplant." 13 said. "What we should do is get a medical history. Maybe there's something in their history that can help." House pointed his cane at her.

"We'll go with 13's idea. Cutner, check out the kid's brother. Maybe he has the same thing and we can work off him since he's awake. 13, you and Taub get an MRI of the girl, see if there's any abnormalities around the heart that might be doing something." They all got up. House turned to his board. He looked like he was having a field day.

"This is more than interesting. It's absurdly interesting." He muttered to himself.

* * *

"Open." Cutner said. The kid opened his mouth.

"Say ah."

"AH!" The kid screamed. Cutner jumped a little, but checked out the throat.

"Powerful lungs you've got there." He said to him.

"Uh, yeah, sorry." The kid said nervously. Cutner took out his stethoscope.

"So, what's your name?" he asked.

"People just call me Junior." He said. Cutner nodded. He put the stethoscope to Junior's chest. He heard nothing. No heart beat. Just like the sister. But there was something new this time.

"Junior, mind taking a deep breath?" Junior began to look nervous. Cutner looked up.

"Junior, breathe."

"Um, about that…" he said with a little laugh. All the time, Cutner was listening to his chest. There was no exhaling when Junior laughed or talked. None of his vitals were functioning. He looked at Junior with a scared looked. Junior just looked at him nervously.

* * *

13 and Taub were examining the girl in the MRI lab.

"So, what do you think?" 13 asked.

"What about?"

"The girl. What do you think it is?"

"I don't know. If it's a new disease, then I pity the girl." Taub nodded.

"There's something." 13 said, pointing to the screen. Taub looked.

"It's just a shadow." He said. 13 nodded and stared at the screen. They watched the screens for a while. Suddenly, the images were getting blurry.

"What the-?" Taub got up and went into the room. The girl was lifting her head.

"My head…Why doth mine head hurt like the sting of a thousand needles?" Taub motioned for 13 to come over. He pulled the girl out of the chamber. She looked at them curiously.

"Wouldst thou tell me where I am situated? I confess I am confused, as I was enjoying a fine hour of walking with my brother." 13 looked at Taub, who raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

"Um, well, you are in a hospital…eth and we are doctors who are checking if you're okay…eth." The girl scowled a bit.

"Dost thou mock me and my speech? Thy cruelty insults me." Taub rubbed his neck.

"You're in a hospital in New Jersey. Your brother brought you in after you fell unconscious." The girl smiled at 13.

"Thankest thou for thine kindness. Pray tell, where would mine brother be?"

"He's being looked at by another of our doctors, just to see if he's okay too." Taub said. The girl nodded.

"Wouldst I be allowed to see him? I wish to know how he is."

"Just follow me, okay?" 13 said. The girl smiled and got off the table. She followed 13 out of the room. Taub was scratching his head.

"Well that was weird." He said. Cutner suddenly came running into the room.

"Taub! Taub." He shouted at him.

"Cutner! Calm down I'm right here. What's up? I thought you were checking the brother."

"Yeah, I know. Junior was his name. I was just checking his heart."

"Was there the same anomaly?" Taub asked.

"You better believe it. But that wasn't the freaky thing. He wasn't breathing either. Even when he was talking, there was no exhaling. That kid…cannot be alive." Taub's eyes grew wide.

* * *

House was just told about the brother's condition.

"So, we have a sister who's alive without a heartbeat, and a brother, who has nothing working and is alive…Am I on a Candid Camera show? Or at least being pranked here?" Cutner shook his head. House started to squirm in his chair.

"I haven't had this much fun since the game." He got up.

"Come with me robin, to the Bitch's hideout." He walked out the door. Cutner just stood there. House popped back in with a 'duh' look on his face.

"We're going to Cuddy's office."

"Oh!" He said.

* * *

"Okay, am I on one of those-"

"No." House interrupted her.

"Or at le-"

"Nope. This is all fact. If you don't believe us, you can check them out yourself." Cuddy shook her head. She looked to Cutner for help.

"It's true. I checked it myself. That boy shouldn't be alive, and yet there he was having a conversation with me."

"Did you at least get a medical history? Or find out who the parents were? Because we'll have to call child services if their homeless."

"We know that the Mom doesn't work and that his Father's job is so important that he can't say it." House leaned in.

"I think it's the FBI." He whispered.

"Well, check out their medical history, and stop filling me in with your theories!" Cuddy said. She pointed to the door. House just turned around on his cane and walked out. Cutner followed.

* * *

House walked into the patient's room. She was sitting up in bed with a tray of food in front of her. Her brother was beside her, in a chair.

"You want anything else?" Junior asked her.

"No brother, I am quite content at the moment." They suddenly noticed House walk in.

"Um, who are you?" Junior asked.

"I'm hurt. You don't recognize me from this morning?" Junior thought.

"Oh yeah! You were that homeless looking guy asking me those weird questions." House fell anime style on the floor.

"I'm a doctor if you must know, and the head of your sisters…Your," indicating Junior's sister, "Case." Junior shrank a little bit sheepishly at this.

"Is there something thy wishes to know of my case?" House raised an eyebrow at this.

"Have you always talked like that?" He asked. She looked slightly offended. Junior answered.

"She picked up her way of talking from our private tutor, Miss Helga." He said. House nodded.

"So, just to bring you up to speed: You have no heartbeat, which is surprising to anyone with an IQ over 20, because it means either you have a genetic defect that's only around once every million years or you're a zombie. Your brother here," Indicating Junior, "Has no heartbeat, no breathing,k and yet both of you are alive and healthy. And right now, we are wondering where your parents are, what they do, and why you haven't given us any information on them or yourselves." They began to get nervous looks on their faces.

"Ca you at least tell me when you were born?" He asked. No answer. The girl spoke up.

"My name is MiniMandy, Minnie for short. Mine day of birth in thine world was upon the 14th of the sixth month of 1998 at Endsville general Hospital."

"My...birthday was at the same hospital a year before on the 19th of June." Junior said.

"Thank you. And if there's anything else, please speak up about it." He walked out. Junior looked at Minnie.

"You sure it was a good idea saying our birthdays?" He asked.

"T'was the only thing thy and thou couldst do brother." Minnie said.

* * *

"Okay, let's see what our patient's medical history is." House said at the computer. The team was around him, looking expectantly. The file came up.

"Here we go…MiniMandy. Born 14th of June, 1998."

"Well at least we know she told the truth." Cutner said.

"Yeah, but unfortunately that's all there is. She has no other medical history, not even a last name." Taub said.

"What about Junior?" Cutner said.

"Hold on…Hm." House said.

"What?" they asked.

"The only male baby that was in that hospital that day was aborted. All other babies were either female or there since the day before with mothers." House looked away and began to think. He scratched his head.

"I can only come up with one solution." He said finally.

"What?" 13 asked.

"That kid is supposed to be dead…because he is dead."

* * *

House came barging into the room. Junior got up suddenly as did Minnie from her bed.

"Okay, what are you?' He asked. Junior looked startled.

"Me…I'm…I'm a human be-"

"Cut the crap. You're lying. Everybody always lies. She is too from the looks of it. Now tell me the truth; Are you alive or dead?" House had his face practically touching Junior's. Junior looked at Minnie. She closed her eyes and nodded. Junior turned back to House and sighed.

"I'm…dead." House smiled a bit, though his eyes widened in surprise.

"Prove it." Junior closed his eyes. A green aura surrounded him. His skin suddenly melted into nothing. His eye sockets were surprisingly closed like his eyes before. His entire body became white as bones appeared out of the flesh. He was finally left as a skeleton, with the hair still on his head. His eye sockets opened up, revealing black pits. House jumped up and backed up to the back of the room in surprise.

"This is how I really look." Junior said. House quickly went over to the door and shut it, along with the blinds in the windows. No one noticed anything. He turned his attention to Junior.

"Okay, while I admit that was totally awesome, how is it possible you're like this? There's no such thing as coming to life after death except with paddles!"

"That is somewhat true." Junior said. "Except for there being me and a few others from the underworld." House's eyes couldn't get any wider.

"You mean to tell me, after all this time, that there really is a hell and heaven, and that God exists?"

"Pretty much yeah." Junior said smugly. House looked at Minnie.

"And what about you? Are you dead too?" Minnie gave a small laugh.

"I am as alive as thyself Dr House. Though I am not mortal as thou art. I am a demon, immortal to a point. Sorry to have shattered thine beliefs on the religion of others." House just looked at her, more with curiosity.

"A demon?" Minnie suddenly created a claw covered in fangs and reptilian green eyeballs on her hands, covered in black and red. It just as quickly disappeared into her arm. House just stared.

"Just curious, who are your parents?" Junior held out his hand. A black flash came from it as a scythe appeared.

"Does this give you a clue?" House shook his head.

"No way. The Grim Reaper?"

"Grim for short. I was named after him. Minnie was named after our mom, Mandy."

"T'was the only one who our Father respected as equally as himself. She forced him into an enslaving friendship, until she married him over the consequences of death." House was calming down, which was strange considering others would have been half way to china by now.

"Where is your dad, and Mom?"

"Dad's usually all over the place. He comes here often, complaining about how you keep stealing his clients. That's why I came to you with Minnie. We were here looking around, when she fainted. I figured you'd be able to help her." House nodded and scooted towards Minnie.

"So, what was in that burger you ate anyways?" House asked. Minnie thought back.

"I remember there being a taste not tasted before by mine tongue. It stung a bit, though I thought I merely had hot sauce addaed to mine. Is it helpful?"

"Do demons have a weakness for garlic?" Minnie nodded.

"T'is one of our greatest weaknesses. It creates a deathly illness for all."

"Then my guess is that you had onions in your burger, a close relative to garlic. You didn't get the illness, but you went into a coma while your body's immune system expelled it from your system. My suggestion would be to check whatever you eat from a fast food restaurant. They can be forgetful." He winked at her with a smile. She blushed a bit. House turned to Junior.

"So, any idea as to how we'll discharge her? Cause I'm pretty sure the receptionist won't stick around for Death to sign a form." Junior smiled.

"Don't worry. My mom could do it." Junior took his scythe and pressed a part of it. A button glowed. There was a ringing noise.

"'ello?" A man with a Jamaican accent answered.

"Dad? It's Junior. Listen, can you get mom to come to the Princeton Plainsboro Hospital? Minnie and I went there cause Minnie was in a coma getting rid of onions." There was a pause.

"Who was your doctor?"

"House." Junior said.

"Is he in the room?"

"Yes." House called out.

"Hey buddy, listen! Just because you're doing well on your end of the business, doesn't mean mine's going all hunky dory too mon! Try to let at least a few people die if possible so my call dere isn't a waste of time." House looked at Junior. He mouthed 'Just say okay.'

"Okay?"

"Good. Now, Mandy's already on her way. She just got out of the portal and is walking to the hospital."

"Okay, thanks Dad." Junior said.

"You owe me for this one son. Your mother doesn't like to be disturbed this much." There was a click. A dial tone sounded. Junior pressed the glowing button again. It disappeared as the tone did. House just stood in awe.

"I've got to get me one of those." He said. Junior just laughed.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Junior quickly changed his look back to human again.

"Junior! Minnie! I'm here. And let me just say you two are going to be in so much trouble. Especially you Junior!"

"Why me?" He whined.

"Because you weren't sick!" The door opened. Mandy was dressed in a black business suit with black heels. Her usual headband was on, and her red eyes flashed at House.

"Well, aren't you going to direct me to the check out?" She asked him sternly. House was a little flustered by her.

"Okay…this way." He went out of the room, followed by Mandy, Junior, and Minnie, who got her clothes back on back in the room's bathroom. They went to the check out, and Mandy signed the form.

"Have a nice day." The receptionist said. Mandy just scowled at her.

"Come on Junior, Minnie." She said, going out the door. House quickly followed after them. It was night time, and he could barely see them disappear around a corner. He got there just in time to see them heading through a glowing hole in the air. Junior noticed him, and gave a wave before going in. The portal disappeared. House just stood there motionless in the dark for a minute.

"…Interesting…"

* * *

Epilogue

Cuddy was going through papers in her office. Suddenly the phone rang.

"Plainsboro Hospital, Dr. Cuddy speaking."

"Hey, hey there. My name is, Fred Fred Burger, I can spell my name real good-" Cuddy hung up. A few minutes later, it rang again.

"Plainsboro Hospital, Dr. Cuddy Speaking."

"F-R-E-D-F-R-E-D-B-U-R-G…E-R. Fred Fred Burger, Ye-" She hung up again, getting a little annoyed. It rang a few minutes later. She checked the caller ID. It was unlisted.

"Hello?" She asked in an irritated tone.

"Yes, uh, this is Fred Fred Bur-"

"What do you want?" She screamed.

* * *

Meanwhile…

House was outside Cuddy's window, holding in his laugh as Fred Fred Burger talked into the phone.

"I was just wondering, do you have any nachos?"

"No!"

"Well then, uh, what about frozen yogurt?"

"NO!"

"You look very pretty today, yes. I like, I like your blue shirt thingie, yes, it makes you look..." House whispered into his ear.

"…Hot yes."

"Will you-" She suddenly turned around to look out the window. Her eyes widened as she saw House kneeling outside with a strange yellow elephant thing.

"Um, gotta go, yes." The phone went dead as House and Fred Fred Burger scampered off. Cuddy just watched the two run off. She took a bottle of pills out of her desk drawer, and threw them away.

"I need a new prescription. These birth control pills are giving me strange hallucinations." She muttered to herself.

* * *

How was it? Read, Review, No Flames. Just constructional Criticism…Yes :D.


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